the experience will stay with you

don't forget to save the date. ;)

needs a scratch?

I invented a new golf ball that'll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches. WARNING: Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.

What is the difference between garbanzo bean and chick pea? No one pays $50 to have garbanzo bean on their face.

Stupid Joke

My parents told me I could name my new pet dog anything I wanted and since I was a mischievous little boy, I decided to name the dog 'Sex'. It seemed funny at first until you understand all the confusion that this caused me in my later life.

Like the day that I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said "I'd like to have one, too".


Then, I said "You don't understand. She's a dog". He replied "Look man, I don't care how she looks". "No no, I've had Sex since I was 5!" He replied "You must have been an early bloomer".

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I'd have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn't want to hear about my personal life.

After my wife and I got married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex. She replied "Sir, every room in the hotel can be used for sex". I said "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk said "Me too!"

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said "Me too".

One day my dog Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight.

I told him "I'm looking for Sex!"

My case comes up next Tuesday.

Now that I've been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I'm in counselling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was.

I said "Sex has left my life. It's like losing a best friend and I'm so lonely".

He said "Look, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Why don't you go get yourself a dog"...