A leper walks into a cafe on a wet and miserable day, orders his food and looks for somewhere to sit.
The place is packed apart from one guy sat alone at
a table, so he shuffles over and explains that while he will quite
understand if the guy says no, but is there any chance of sharing the
table. The guy agrees, but the leper asks one more time "Are you sure I
won't put you off your food?" The man assures him so the leper sits
and begins to eat.
The man at the table brings a mouthful of food up
and as he puts it in his mouth, looks directly at the leper and for a
moment it seems he is about to vomit.
The leper pauses and says "Are you okay? I will leave if I am putting you off your food".
The man assures him this is not the case, so the
leper continues to eat. A second time the man takes a mouthful of food
and the same thing happens, though this time he has to make a serious
effort not to throw up.
The leper starts to get up, but the man apologises
profusely and assures the leper that it is not him that is making him
queasy. Unsure, but not wanting to eat outside in the rain, the leper
once more starts to eat.
A third time the man takes a mouthful of food, and
as he does so, looks directly at the leper and once more he is assailed
by vomiting actions and this time he cannot hold it in, and sprays the
contents of his stomach all over the table, everyone's food and the
leper, who is incensed.
"You sick scumbag!" he screams "Three times! Three
times I asked you if I was putting you off your food, and now look at
me! As if life wasn't tough enough already, my food is ruined and I am
covered in foul smelling puke. What the hell is wrong with you?"
The man says "I am really, really sorry, but I
swear to you it wasn't you that was putting me off my food and making
me feel sick. It was that fella behind you, who kept dipping his bread
in the pus on the back of your neck!"
