Stupid Joke

An American, A Canadian and a Japanese were stranded in a deserted island in middle of nowhere. They understood that until rescues arrived, they will need to work together in order to stay alive on the island. So they decided to divide up the tasks.

The American points to the Canadian and says "You will be in charge of building and maintaining a fire". The Canadian nods.

Then he points to the Japanese and says "You will be in charge of supplies". The Japanese nods.

"And I will be in charge of building shelters, we will meet back here by sunset".

They agreed and went off their own ways.

By sunset, the American has built this beautiful sturdy shelter, enough for 3 plus more. The Canadian created a big steady camp fire all ready to cook whatever they got. But the Japanese is nowhere to be found.

After a few more hours, night falls and there were still no signs of the Japanese. They got worried and decided to go into the forest to look for him. They inch slowly towards the forest with caution because they don't know what wild beasts roam at night. As soon as they stepped into the forest, a bush rustles, and out jumped the Japanese man screaming "SURPLISE!!"

see,they do miss me at work!

Stupid Joke

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.

For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything went quite well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled "Up Nuts" and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled "Down Nuts" and they all sat back down in their seats.

After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled "Cheer Nuts" They all broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling.

Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned, there was a riot in progress.

Finding his missing assistant, the doctor asked:" What in the world happened?" The assistant replied "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled "PEANUTS!"

"Up every mornin just to keep a job
I gotta fight my way through the hustling mob
Sounds of the city poundin in my brain
While another day goes down the drain

But its a five oclock world when the whistle blows
No one owns a piece of my time
And theres a five oclock me inside my clothes
Thinkin that the world looks fine, yeah"

"She comes in colours ev’ry where
She combs her hair. She’s like a rainbow"